I search his name, and when I find his page, I recognise his face immediately. It seems like just yesterday. Strange how faces never change in photographs, even when time has passed.

My finger hovers over the click button of the mouse enfolded in my right hand. It hesitates. Afraid and excited. One click, and the button will change to Friend Request Send. My eyes stare at the screen.

Should I open this can of worms?

My finger moves by itself. 

Click!

The sound echoes through the empty room.

There is no way to undo this, unless I delete my account and de-activation takes three to five days, so it will still be glaringly obvious to him that I searched him, found him and friend requested him.

My mind spins. My subconscious tells me, “What a stupid thing to do,” while the killer bees buzz angrily in the pit of my stomach.

Quickly I log off from Facebook. If I am not logged in, it means it never happened.

A day later I convince myself, or maybe I conveniently forget, that everything is okay. Does the sun not always shine tomorrow?

He has accepted my friend request and there is a message in my inbox.

Tyler: Hey Stranger! I never thought you would remember me! How are you?

Do you remember when you gave me that plastic red rose and you told me you’ll be back before it wilts? Did you realise it would literally take forever?

Lisa: You will be surprised how many times I think about you.

No.

Backspace that.

Lisa: Fine and you? How has life been treating you?

Tyler: I am okay. I see you are married now.

I am not sure if I should feel flattered because he read my profile or run and hide from social media and never show my profile picture again.

Lisa: Yeah. Happily, for 12 years now :o) You?

Tyler: Married with children. A daughter and a son.

Do you remember how we met?

Do you remember the immediate attraction there was between you and me?

Lisa: I have two sons. Are you still living in the same town? Do you still work at the same job?

Tyler: Yeah. Still here and you?

Do you remember how we met again two nights later by accident, as if it was destined?

Lisa: No. Lived in like a thousand different places since I last saw you. It has been an experience LOL

Tyler: Sounds exciting. What else have you been up to?

Do you remember when you came to visit me, and we sat outside in the courtyard eating Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Lisa: Nothing much. This is like a blast from the past.

Tyler: It sure is. I never thought you would look for Me!

If only you knew how many times I have searched your name, and came up empty, you’ll be shocked, and I’ll be the guilty recipient of a stalker badge.

Lisa: I was searching all my old friends and your name popped into my head. I hope it’s okay.

Tyler: TTYL. It was nice to hear from you again.

Lisa: Of course, :o)

I open his profile to look at his photos again but something feels different.

My eyes drift to the small grey text beneath his name.

Remembering Tyler Williams

I stop breathing.

Tyler died in 2004...

So who have I been talking to?